When Life Brings You Lemons…

From my previous posts, I’m sure you can all tell I haven’t been having the easiest of times.

They seem to be less positive and more focused on reality as opposed to the love of a man that’s locked up…or for a man.

I even changed the title of my page from “in love with an inmate” to whatever it is now.  It still has the same tagline, but…

Ok, so look…

Love will do crazy things to you.  Love will make a perfectly sane huan being with a good head on their shoulders and a promising future ahead go completely insane.  If you don’t think so, then you are wrong.  I’m not here to tell you what you believe is wrong, because trust me, I know I have some screwed up way of thinking, but love will drive you to do things you never thought you’d do.  The real love.  The REAL, TRUE, BURNING PASSION LOVE.

THE HARD SHIT.

Not the weak “stay high for a minute or two” shit.

Love is the strongest drug you will ever take a chance to get hooked on.  Once you have it…you would kill to keep it.

I love this drug.  But, this drug is dangerous.  I just can’t put enough warning on it.

Take this for what it’s worth…

I may be young and dumb…

but I know what love is.

Because love has me wrapped around it’s finger.  Love has made me it’s bitch.

This language is not like me, I know…

but facts are facts and you can’t deny the facts…

Love…IS a drug.  Love WILL drive you crazy…

IF you let it.

XoXo

Not A Suicide Note

Some of my readers took my last post a little in the wrong direction.

Although, I do understand how it could have been taken that way…it was not a suicide letter.

Blogging is a way for me to write out the things I am feeling.  I’m not a political person.  I don’t write reviews to books or video games.  I write about the actions of life.  I let strangers into my mind the best way I know how.

Blogging can relate for someone I can share anything with.  Although, I may post once or twice a month or never again…I have somebody I can share anything with.  I talk to him on the phone every single day.

Blogging is fun and I have loved doing it with the exception of the incapabilities that come along with the layout changing…but I think it is time for me to embrace what I do have for MY entertainment…and not others.

“Love has no limits” is the last thing I was told whenever I got pregnant.  It holds a very dear meaning to me.  I still cannot forget those words, because they stroke me with something I have never had before.  A reality check.

Love…does have no limits…

Love…you either love someone or you don’t.  There is no in between.  There is no middle ground.  There is no excuse “it’s not that easy”  NO, it is that easy.

Love will drive you to do unpredictable things whether good or bad.

And love…will get you to where you want to be.

But “sometimes…love just isn’t enough”

Learn from your mistakes, as I have.  Get through hardships and overcome obstacles, as I have.

But, don’t let the power of love take you for a fool.

I’m not saying I have lost anyone…

Just a reality check.

The last post was not a suicide note.

XoXo

Last Blog

Love has no limits.  Sometimes, though…….love just isn’t enough.

I’m sorry.

 

The Truth Of The Matter Is…

Hunger: to have a strong desire or craving for

You can hunger for a lot of things.

You can hunger for fame, for fortune, for love, for acceptance, for confidence…

You can hunger for pity, for attention…

You can hunger for answers.

Answers, huh?  Answers to what?

Why?

When?

Where?

How?

Who?

…….What?

Answers to Will?  Or Do?

Answers to life.

But, you know what the most horrible part, yet the most amazing part of it all is?

You will never know…

Until you know…and then and only then…will you have the answers.

Then, and only then…will your hunger be satisfied.

It may not be fulfilled the way you wanted…

but it will be satisfied.

XoXo

Love Is Love Is Love

There are two things in this world that absolutely make my heart melt.

My daughter and my man.

When I really sit and think about what I love about him, I also sit back and think “hey, I love that about my babygirl, too”.

Example being; her smile lights up the entire room.  You can be in the worst mood, and she will smile at you and it seems as if the bad mood just melts away.  The same feeling goes for him.

Obviously, there is a HUGE difference.  The love between a parent and child is most definitely different than the love between a man and a woman…or a man and a man or a woman and a woman…whichever way you roll.  But, the two things that make me the happiest and that could swipe away my bad mood within just a second are those two loves of my life.  They can both do it the same.

As many of you know, I have had so much trouble connecting with her.  My stepmom recently told me that she was afraid that I would never find it to be able to actually enjoy having her.  Although, it took this long, I can finally say that I thoroughly love to watch her grow and learn.  I love it when she walks to me with her arms up in her walker, because she hasn’t quite gotten the walking down to pat.  She is only 7 months after all.  I love when she follows me around.  I love when I walk by, how she reaches for me.  I love the way she lays her head against me when she is sleepy.  I love the way she guides the spoon to her own mouth because I can’t see it.  I love it all.  I even love when I change her diaper, because of the way she tries to flip around and grab everything in sight.  It’s just down right cute!  I love that I finally love her the way a mother should love her child.

Discovering this…made me realize that I want to experience it again and again…except, this time……

with the man I love.

Two things in this whole world can make me or break me at the drop of a hat.  I would lay down my life for either one of them if it came down to it.  He would say “No, you have to stay behind to take care of our 14 children”.  But, knowing that he would do the same for me is enough in itself.

Just for future reference…we are not going to have 14 children.  We are not the Duggars and I do not have the patience or the capacity to go through 126 months of pregnancy.  HECK NO.

Just another thought out loud, I guess.  I was going to write it in my journal thing, but I realized that they changed wordpress again.  Could be a good thing and could mean more posts!

But, for now…I’m going to go enjoy life.

XoXo